Too much happening becomes nothing, joins itself at opposite ends of an infinite ring.
It’s #AoC & I’ve been doing it for the first time, with shamefully hacky Python, just getting the vibe.
I’ve been doing something that’s alleged to be “learning SQL,” but that doesn’t feel like what I’ve been doing at all.
I still need a Job or Whatever.
I feel deeply unknown, and know it’s by design & before you know it there’s an arbitrarily deep stack of feelings about feelings about things I know I know & things I don’t know.
I know my brain is bad & needs Therapy & Psychiatry.
I know, deeply, beyond knowing, that knowing something needs to happen is insufficient to make it happen.
I don’t know what I can build beyond disjointed, private, fleeting thoughts: pseudopoetic fragments of thought that flow from my mind only to lodge uncomfortably in ill-afforded conversation-spaces.